Texts From Superheroes
Cyclops: Please revoke your no swearing rule.
Professor X: Why?
Bobby, from the hallway: Well, that really DILLS my PICKLE
Wolverine: Hello, how’s the playdate going?
Professor X: Great, great. Could you do me a favor and pick Daken up?
Professor X: Because he’s being a little bitch!
Gabrielle Haller: What’s in the bag?
Charles Xavier: Gifts for David. Turns out it’s hard shopping for a kid I don’t know. “He’s a boy with brown hair” was not enough information for the guy at Target
Gabrielle Haller: Bouncy ball… sling shot… What is this? Shorts? Did you bring my son a pair of shorts?
Charles Xavier: Are shorts no good? That’s okay I’ve prepared for that–I also have capris in my car.
Professor X: As a professor, your role will be primarily advisory.
Wolverine: I’m gonna need some weapons.
Professor X: There are lots of ways that sons defeat their fathers.
Beast: I just keep getting PhDs.
Magneto: We are here because there is something wrong with society!
Professor X: See, you’re always saying there’s something wrong with society, but maybe there’s something wrong with you.
Magneto: If there is, then society made me that way.
Professor X: Erik, you can’t just cut pieces of toast up, pour butter on it and call it a meal.
Narrator: But he could.
Narrator: And he did.
Narrator: And soon after, he would violate the Geneva Conventions.