The original Excalibur (a.k.a. the best team of all time!)
by Alan Davis and Paul Neary
Back cover to the Excalibur Special Edition. Ron Lim/Al Gordon/Glynis Oliver
It’s been nearly thirty years and I’ve read thousands of comics since, but Excalibur remains, always, the very best of them all. These are not characters to me, they are dear friends.
Excalibur – The Sword Is Drawn
Alan Davis, Paul Neary,
and Chris Claremont
Kitty and Rachel conspired to hide Brian’s tea on at least one 4th of July.
Courtney Ross gets possessed by a character named Opal Lun Sat-Yr^9 mere hours after she was rescued from being kidnapped by Arcade (you can tell she’s possessed because of the promiscuous tattoo on her hip), and then she straight up throws her vagina at Captain Britain in another one of those weird, icky, technically rape because you can’t consent if you’re possessed scenes that we see from time to time in comic books. Whatever, Brian sure doesn’t put up much of a fight here before the fucking starts. What kind of relationship is he in with Meggan if he’s straight up allowed to go on flowers buying dates with other women??? (Excalibur #5 – Feb 1989)
Two questions. 1. How is it people end up in relationships like this? 2. Why in the fuck don’t people get out of relationships like this? Being single, independent, and introverted to the point that having another person in my home makes my skin crawl to the point that I want to tear it off, there isn’t much that disgusts me more than a person who isn’t enough of a person to be on their own for 5 god damn seconds and will stick in a relationship, any relationship, as long as it means they don’t have to be by themselves. Like, seriously, GET A FUCKING PERSONALITY, BRIAN. YOU MIGHT ENJOY IT. (Excalibur #5 – Feb 1989)
We wrap up this Excalibur / Arcade escapade with all the members of Excalibur getting put back into their bodies and everybody getting covered in pie goo. Because it’s Excalibur and because of course we do. (Excalibur #5 – Feb 1989)
Here’s a photo of my high school varsity basketball team. That’s me in the middle there. True story: my senior year, we went 2 and 21. So proud. (Excalibur #5 – Feb 1989)